Wilted Mums, Waiting and Birthing New Life

Ahhh the tantalizing rhythms of fall are amongst us.  Every year I look forward to buying and potting a different color of mum.  This year was the outspoken color yellow.  They were beaming for attention on my front porch.  I smiled every time I saw them.  Truly a simple pleasure in life! 

Before I knew it the mums were dead.  Did I water them too much or too little when we had the streak of really warm weather? I dead headed many of the tops with no re growth.  I kept watering them.  I would see sprouts of new buds forming toward the bottom and a few places throughout the plant.  I decided to not give up even though I wanted to throw in the towel.  I continued to steadily water them for many weeks.  Still dead as ever until today.  At the base of the plant new growth is happening. They are slowing coming back with an intriguing yellow and orange hybrid I haven’t seen.  Unexpectedly wowza!

Hmmm…. I am sensing a spiritual knock at my heart.  I am standing at attention and leaning in to listen…  Simultaneously, I decided to paint an abstract piece of artwork incorporating a plant.  I wanted an abstract-modern yet calm ambience.  I went with an analogous color scheme because it evokes harmony and tranquility.  This color scheme consists of colors that are next to each other on the color wheel, creating a cohesive and pleasing, visual experience.It speaks to what is being birthed through waiting. It is often not as much about the destination as it is about the journey. It’s entitled Soundly Entwined.

Back to listening…

This unfolding of the mums… It’s about waiting, watching and not giving up.  There is purpose in the process. God is at work behind the scenes.  Things are happening in His timetable but we have a role to play in participating in the waiting. Waiting is a transitive verb; It’s active. This is a reminder friends to not give up!  Press on.  Relinquish control and surrender the outcome to God.  Do the next right thing in front of you.  He’s not done with you yet.    

We’ve all been in this place before.  It could be a dry and dead season in some areas of life… perhaps a loss, disappointment, something out of your control, praying for years for something, or a wilderness season spiritually.

Isaiah 43:19 God promises to make way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert… symbolizing hope and
renewal. 

To the one…

-who needs to be reminded God is in your corner even if it doesn’t feel like it.  Romans 8:26-28
-who can not turn the bitter into something sweet… a gentle nudge that only God can do that and I believe He will.  The gift of forgiveness can be your portion.
-who feels like the tide is pulling you under.  Your life preserver will come in unexpected ways but it will come.
-who simply needs rest.  Give yourself permission and the gift of rest even if it is in small doses.  It is okay to say no to say yes to rest and slowing down. Matthew 11:28-30

An Encouragement:
Look at the wilted mums in your life.  Wait on God to see what He is saying and doing.  Watch the fruit of your waiting and record the results of what you’ve learned, unlearned, or were invited into by God.  Then celebrate and thank God and others who shared the journey with you. What a beautiful unfolding!

Artwork is for sale!

Lastly, this artwork is resolving…It is entitled Victorious Trails.

Live Lightly

Inspired by the psalmists, Live Lightly echoes the pulse of a collection of poems I wrote from June-August about regaining balance and rest in a world that woos my attention with media, self-absorption, input, information, tension, and busyness. Also, it is a re-launching pad for keeping my heart free and clean from offense, hurt and loss and awakening to life, beauty, and vitality.

Quietness and being still before God, being in God’s amazing creation, keeping short accounts regarding forgiveness and taking responsibility for my own sinful responses, not being so busy that there’s no time for spontaneity, meditating on scripture, worshipping my Maker and returning to places of joy/doing things that are life-giving have created a place for me to LIVE more LIGHTLY. I am in process and haven’t arrived, but I see tire marks in the dirt from places I previously treaded…. Time to steady on.

These art pieces are part of LIVING LIGHTLY.  Each piece has gel prints of botanicals and flowers I picked while hiking at Hitchcock Nature Center. The artwork is a bit muted with some contrasting color palettes. The focal points do not have a large scale (size) nor do they boldly pop out at you. They are more subtle. This reflects that LIVING LIGHLTY is a process. There is purpose in the process. Artwork is for sale!

The Kaleidoscope of a Cloud        

The visceral vein of an ominous vapor that is floating in ease while glory provides a gentle touch. The pale, white puff wants to peek through but resists the temptation… perhaps a longing for lingering… for another gaze that lasts longer than sixty seconds. Silence woos an invitation. A bird dances like a speck of dust on high. It’s free then it disappears… still ingesting as the tug of a schedule pulls me in… until tomorrow…

Inch Worm

That blade of grass has just been cut. It cannot bend or sway.  Constricted veins keep it in place afraid to grow again.  Pain and desire go hand in hand awaiting to be faced.  An inch worm becomes my movement and paves the way.

Space for Spontaneity 

Eraser to calendar
No muscles exercised
Accepting invitations
A welcomed surprise
Heart beat is at bay
Pulse a steady 60
Calling a friend
Maybe she will meet me
Peanut butter ice cream
Strolling through the park
Memories and laughter
are not sewn apart
Head hits pillow
Gentle smile released
This can be a way of life
New boundaries in place

Selah (quietly pause and take in)

As the psalmist bellows and echoes the churning and yearning of his heart
I gasp for a word or phrase to sojourn with throughout the day
Rolling it over and over in my mind till it is stained in my heart
Space to discuss…breath to ingest… silence to resist the clamoring world

Quicksand Dismantled 

The sludge and grainy weight were at my shoulders
The oppression took its seat center stage
Chronic pain pulsed and radiated to my extremities
Grief was cascading like The Upper Falls Waterfall in Yellowstone
The battlefield of the mind was waging war to push the play button
The cry of worship was the weapon of warfare
The title echoed was Peace
The fruit that arose was peace
The Prince of Peace came to the rescue

A Timely Fasting Taste

The  power of community for a consecrated cause
comes at price where our gaze subdues the cross         
Goodbye to social media and to the humm of culture’s voices
A bit of rattling in our cages and impulses revealed
The silence is golden with a crave for more servings
Abiding is not second place as the prowler wants to feast
Contending for heart and mind through the pages of each psalm
The sword of the spirit resounds, aligning what’s been lost
On our faces; on our knees. Having a change of mind. 
Turning a 360 in record time
Refresh Renew your bride Take these red, soiled garments
You make them white as snow as you continue to reveal to us the weeds that are overgrown

Tipped   

Tugging at the bones from my phalanges to occipital
A luminous ,7am, kapow orange-pink sunrise won the battle
Briefly turning to put on sneakers
I returned to a soft, blush, orange palette sky
Dangling as oppression wants to steal the whispers from my Maker,
the movement for my heart and vitality for my soul
My spirit is revived and ready to absorb the tender beauty of a late August day

Reflective Questions:
-Which poem impacted you the most and why?
-What is one step you can take this week to LIVE more LIGHTLY?

Outlets~ Goodbye Hurry~ Hello Healthy

Destination:  Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art…a pit stop on the way to Colorado Springs.  I sat in front of these paintings by Noelle Phares in an exhibit called Tracking Time.  She is a Denver based artist who splits her time in California.  She has an abstract landscape approach that situates her work in between accuracy and abstraction.  It possesses an immediacy that simultaneously freeze-frames and conveys its constant motion. While peering through her bordered photos of her journey plein air painting down the Colorado River Valley, it felt like a lens of life I was looking through… the lens of hurry and rest.   

I’ve been reading a book, a mentor suggested, called The Ruthless Examination of Hurry by John Mark Comer. There were many nuggets that convicted me about my life, life in our Western culture, and a slowed down spirituality….

-TS Elliot says, “We are distracted from distraction by distraction.”

-John Mark Comer says, “Hurry and love are incompatible.  In the apostle Paul’s definition of love, the first descriptor is “patient.” 

-John Ortberg has said, “We will become so distracted and rushed and preoccupied that we will settle for a mediocre version of life.  We will just skim our lives instead of actually living them. It’s not just our emotional health that’s under threat…our spiritual lives hang in the balance.

-Tony Schwartz shared, “Addiction is the relentless pull to a substance or an activity that becomes so compulsive it ultimately interferes with everyday life.  Nearly everyone I know is addicted in some measure to the Internet.” The average American spends 705 hrs. on social media a year and watches 2, 737.5 hours of tv.  Comer shared, “We became more efficient, yes, but also more machine, less human BEing… he suggests turning off your phone for 24 hours straight just one day and call it a digital Sabbath. (or perhaps just choose to check it once a day/have it available for an emergency or go for a tech free walk)

“We become what we give our attention to, for better or worse.  Every day is a chance.  Every hour an opportunity.  Every moment a precious gift.” I am reminded of Ephesians 5:15-16.

What Jesus modeled… Comer shares, “He put on display an unhurried life, where space for God and love for people were his kingdom, he constantly said no to countless other invitations.”

Some of us may have even forgotten how to have fun or be spontaneous. Melody Beattie said, “We can have fun experimenting with things we might like…learning what we like, and how to do what we like. Many of us have gotten into a rut with rigidity, martyrdom, and deprivation.  One of the normal experiences many of us have been deprived of is having fun and being spontaneous.  Take some risks.  Try some new activities. Then try it again.  Practice having fun until fun becomes fun.”

As I sat and gazed through these freeze-framed photos,  I was tempted to hurry on to the next thing on my to do list in Boulder, but I paused and lingered longer in the quiet, white-washed gallery.  Doing something I enjoyed was a simple gift I savored as creative taste buds came to life. Hurry was extinguished even for just 30 minutes… a win.

Muted…The Gift of Dormancy.

Muted- quiet and soft of a sound or voice- unable or unwilling to speak- felt or expressed without the use of words. It also means-desaturated and dull colors- desaturated means subdued or grayed. 

The cabin in the painting above is entitled Muted.  The colors are dulled.  There is not a lot of detail and it is very simple. Everything leads to the point of interest, the cabin door. The cabin awaits me to open the door and abide for an extended weekend. The reservation has been made.  My heart leaps in anticipation of meeting with my maker… to listen, to ask, to seek, to enjoy sunrises while walking on a country road, to watch a sunset while sitting near a cornfield, and watch a bird skim the frozen water of the pond. 

When you have been through a difficult time, a season of being more busy than usual, working overtime, health issues, family crisis, or just plain old juggling too many things at once for too long… How do you respond?  Are you able to intentionally exercise your NO muscles so you can rest and recharge. It is said that we are to work from a place of rest.  I love that.

Also, I know there are some seasons where things are intensified for a period of time that you know will come to an end.  Maybe you are going to school or taking a class, stepped in for someone or perhaps you felt led to serve in a new capacity, your children are in a busy season with activities, or you need to just heal. 

I recently had an opening for an art and music project entitled The Journey of a Clipped Winged Bird. You can also view the artwork here.  I spent over two years planning, creating, and praying for this project.  It was the most joy-filled, creative work I have done yet! 

From Vibrancy to Subdued~ 

Many of the colors in the artwork are vibrant and full of color.  This reflects the interior of my heart as I re-visited some key places in my healing journey.  The trajectory from before to after has evolved into a beautiful tapestry that continues to be weaved and walked out.  After the culmination of anticipation, delivery of the event, nestling and savoring the opening and the people who attended and who gave much encouragement and feedback…It was over. No more long hours. There was a lull in my weekly rhythm that I welcomed…shhhhh…

The Pull Back~ 

The bonfire gets lit on a lovely fall evening ~ the bathrobe stays on till noon on a Saturday ~ I forgo saying yes to every invitation and say no when needed ~ I don’t create for a month ~ I say yes to a speaking engagement but say I am taking a month off ~ I go to bed at 9:30 or 10pm~ I plan my meals out with fruits and vegetables stocked in my refrigerator ~ I have longer, lingering conversations with my husband ~ Extended walks without a phone become my norm ~ This is back to the rhythm I love after a season that was robust. 

I am reminded that for everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven… a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted- a time to break down, and a time to build up- a time to weep and a time to laugh- a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing… Ecclesiastes. 3 

There is beauty in dormancy. Just as the fall gust of wind whisks the leaves off its branches…the tree looks lifeless, but the leaves are still dancing as they circle up and swirl with movement.  They look different as they’ve changed colors and have turned a crispy brown.  They have a new role this season.   

Are you needing “muted”? Why or why not? Perhaps your muted in this season looks different and you adapt it to what works for you.  It’s about simplifying life to make room for the things that matter most and giving space for what comes next. 

This piece of artwork is entitled Samul~ It is The Hindu Kush mountain range in Afghanistan. This was created during my muted season after taking time off. It speaks to children soldiers in Afghanistan and the posture of interceding for them.

The Composition of Rest

A treble cleff, a 4/4 time signature, half notes, quarter notes, sixteen notes, then a REST.  Then more sixteenth notes for 8 measures, then a REST. As you musicians and vocalists know, the composition would not be complete without RESTS.

It’s not complicated by any means, right? It’s just a REST.  I’ve been leaning into the need for rest and how easy it is to get off track. Looking back, I discovered my compositions regarding rest.

OLD Composition~

Go. Do. Go more. Do more. Perform to earn love and acceptance from others. People please. Had lots of energy and time to go and do more… THEN REST.

HALT

NEW Composition in my late 40’s

REST~ Stop. Breathe. REST~ Pray. Nap. REST~ More 1:1 time with a few close friends. REST~ Mentor/disciple someone. Smile while enjoying watching fall leaves twirl. Exercise my no muscles. REST~Visit a family member who is sick. Attend to my own health needs. REST~ I am learning I have limits and need REST~

“Let’s Dance” as David Bowie sang. Now, intentionality is a rhythm weaved into my life. When there are a lot of changes going on, a lot more time is needed to press into God. This needs REST and grieving losses in life also needs REST.

Our lives our meant for a balanced cadence.  It is so easy to go at a frantic pace in life being overly busy and (in my case) trying to prove my life had worth the busier it looked. Reflecting with others in my church community has challenged me to look at this area in life.  Sure, there are seasons where there are more work deadlines, life events etc.

In and through this, I am finding my new “Safety Dance” as Men Without Hats sang. Pulling back for extended times of REST is important. A friend recently shared that your life will be shipwrecked if you don’t deal with your grief (and I would add other offenses, hurts, and losses). This requires extra time and REST to process these things.

It feels like a test at times to walk this out, but there are many testimonies you/I will have along the way. Working and living from a place of rest and not striving…I like this rhythm. It may not always be easy but it is right. It is good.  It is the way God designed it.

“Do You Wanna Dance” as Bobby Freeman sang? Do you feel you need a new cadence in life to move to? Maybe your cadence is to step out of something, step in to something new, or pause on some things.

CREATIVE APPLICATION:

Create a work of art or just begin journaling about your old or current composition relating to rest. Then depict what new rhythms you would like to incorporate moving forward. I encourage you to share your work with someone.  Even if you don’t think it’s a finished work or good enough…come against that!

“Let’s Dance” by David Bowie

Nesting and Resting~The Incubator

Something is following me around…nests! It is one of those things that gets your attention because it is happening so often (and happening to others around you). Can you relate?

AWAITING THE NEW~

The furniture is being rearranged. Sage striped green curtains are going up in the kitchen. My front door is going to be painted a pretty, vivid blue. Something new is being welcomed…

Nesting during pregnancy is the overwhelming desire to get your home ready for your new baby. The nesting instinct is the strongest in the later weeks coming up on delivery. Many of you mothers know this exact feeling.

Nesting has been on my radar and I can’t escape it! Although it is not in Webster’s Dictionary, I would like to suggest that nesting is not just for individuals who are awaiting a newborn as I do not have children. I believe it is also for learning to embrace the gifts God has given us TODAY and learning to be content as the apostle Paul challenges me in Philippians 4:12. Sometimes getting to that place of contentment takes some digging, purging old things, pruning (ouch but good! John 15:5) or grieving losses to make room for new things.

Nesting is learning to trust all over again that God is at work behind the scenes birthing and creating something new in our hearts even when we don’t see it yet. Fear drives us to unhelpful places but faith waits and anticipates. This is a journey and it is not passive.

NESTING TAKES TIME~

A bird has to take time to gather itself….to go out and find sticks and debris. Then there is the arranging of the sticks. Then comes settling in getting used to a new place, a new home, a new normal or a new season in life.

Maybe you are trying to get used to a new job, a new relationship, an empty nest as children leave for college, the loss of a loved one who has passed away or who is sick, maybe something in your life has ended and you are in an in between phase in life…or you’ve entered menopause,..oh my! I can relate. I am learning I have limits and need to adjust accordingly and there can be loss in that.

I am reminded of the lyrics to an old song I wrote entitled THE INCUBATOR.  Song lyrics and link to this song

Stay resting in this place even if it feels crowded
Be assured I’m preparing you to make you stand grounded

I hope this song encourages you to not give up! We all have a story that is being written in our lives. I am turning the page to a new chapter and learning to take a step back to nest and rest… Something I don’t want to miss out on!

When we see people humble themselves, it can have a domino effect on our lives…if we let it. I am thankful for the humble leaders and friends I watch in life who model the importance of slowing down to care for the things that need tending and mending.

CREATIVE APPLICATION:

Take the word REST and create something beautiful…perhaps full of tension as this is quite counter cultural. Then share what you created with someone.